


HEY YO CAN I GET YO NUMBE-oh hey Matthew

by ConnorProject2K17



Category: Big Mouth (Cartoon)
Genre: M/M, Mistaken Identity, also catcalling, basically jay mistakes a dude for a gal, but he learns its not okay, matthew tries not to be so mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 11:32:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16263347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConnorProject2K17/pseuds/ConnorProject2K17
Summary: Jay's walking down the street when he spots a gorgeous woman. A woman with caramel hair, and a perfect outfit. It all basically goes downhill from here





	1. Chapter 1

Jay hadn’t meant to do it. It had been an accident.

He, Andrew, Nick and Jessi had been on their way to the arcade, and they were halfway down the street when Jay spotted someone crossing the road.

She was beautiful. She had short caramel hair, styled into a coif, and a perfectly lean figure. She had her back to him, but he was still enamoured. Without thinking, Jay let out a low whistle.

“Dude, check  _ her _ out!”

The other three followed his line of sight. Nick frowned.

“Um, Jay? Who are you talking about?”

Jay scoffed at him, and pointed at the girl. He saw Jessi raise her eyebrows out of the corner of his eye.

“ _ Her! _ I mean, how can you miss her? Get a load of that  _ bod! _ ”

Someone laughed, but stifled it. Jay turned to glare at his best (and only) friends.

“What the hell are you laughing at?”

Andrew turned to him, and opened his mouth to say something, but Nick elbowed him in the side.

“Nothing!” Nick said quickly, smiling, “Absolutely nothing. If you like her Jay, you should go get her.”

Jay just glared harder. What were wrong with them? Jessi he could understand; she never liked them talking about girls. But Andrew and Nick? He thought they would be all over this girl? 

He turned to look at her again. He couldn’t see her face, but she was just as radiant from the back. Long, long legs. Nice ass. Soft hair. Pale neck.

Well, maybe she just didn’t have the tits to grab their attention. Jay couldn’t really see, but she seemed pretty flat chested. But that didn’t make her any less perfect to him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his glare softening, “yeah, maybe I will.”

He could see Nick and Jessi exchange smirks, but he ignored them. Andrew just looked confused.

Clearing his throat, he jogged over to the girl. As he ran, he zeroed in on her body;

Coordinated clothing.

Thin waist.

Delectable hips.

Broad shoulders.

Sharp jaw.

Wait…

What?

“Hey!” Jay called out, before his thoughts could turn any weirder. But… she was pretty masculine. For a girl. But then, why did he still find her gorgeous?

She didn’t turn around. He tried again.

“Hey baby, you got a boyfriend?”

The girl adjusted in her seat a bit to listen, but he guessed she didn’t know it was directed at her.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. She stiffened a bit. He removed his hand.

“Can I have your number?”

She turned around properly now. She didn’t look happy. In fact, she looked ready to punch him.

But more distractedly, she was a he.

“Matthew?!”


	2. Oh my sweet summer child

 

“So… Jay.”

Jay didn’t listen. He had his head on the cafeteria table, being shielded by his arms. 

“Jaaaayyyy…”

He squeezed his arms tighter around his ears. He didn’t  _ want  _ to listen.

“Jay, you’re going to have to talk about it sometime.”

No. He didn’t. He didn’t ever have to address it ever, ever again. 

When that girl in the street turned around, Jay had frozen. The only word he could say was a name.

“Matthew?!”

The boy in question didn’t look all that pleased. In fact, he looked ready to kill. His arms were crossed tightly around his chest, and he crossed his ankles. Ah, best not to think about Matthew’s chest or ankles, Jay.

“What do _ you _ want?”

Jay hadn’t said anything. What the hell could he say? He’d just admitted to being attracted to another guys body. To his friends. Loudly. 

God, that’s why they were laughing. Those assholes.

Matthew sneered at him, giving him a once over, and stood up from where he was sitting. Jay noticed a fancy drink sitting on the table. It looked sweet. That probably meant Matthew’s mouth was sweet too.

And as soon as that thought crossed his mind, Jay turned tail and ran. It may not have been the most manly thing to do, but Jay’s masculinity had taken a serious hit these past few days, and he really had better things to worry about now.

Before escaping properly, he ran into his ‘friends’ and elbowed Nick and Jessi in the ribs a punishment for being such dick-wipes.

And now he was here, sitting in the school cafeteria, listening to his friends torments about what had happened.

Those. Assholes.

“Okay, okay. Jay.” Nick was saying, and Jay could feel Jessi lean in closer beside him. He scowled to himself.

“Which would you rather? Have Coach Steve make ‘thick’ in your mums ‘warm’ again? Or…”

The table shuddered as Andrew made a drumroll.

“Go on a date with Matthew?”

Jessi burst into squealing laughter. Jay could even hear Andrew snicker again.

Truth be told, Coach Steve had been very nice to his mum. She actually paid attention to her youngest son, and they all sat together as a family. Even if Coach Steve was a bit delusional, Jay would happily have him round again.

But Matthew. That was tricky. It wasn’t like Jay hadn’t really thought about it before. Matthew was one of the only *ahem* ‘crushes’ he’d ever had that wasn’t really sexual.

Like, sure he got the occasional boner thinking about how soft and hot Matthew’s body had been against him. But he also found himself wondering if his brothers would like him. If his mum would let him join in on their new family dinners. If his dad would name him ‘Pimp of The Month’. Although Matthew didn’t seem like the type to-

“Jay?”

Oh shit. Jay had peaked up from behind his arms without realizing. Crap. And he wa staring across the cafeteria, directly at a coif of thick fudge-coloured hair…

“Oh my fuck!” he yelped, and scrambled so hard he almost fell off his seat. Oh god. He shouldn’t be thinking like this. 

Jessi gave him a strange look.

“Jay? The options aren’t that bad. Are they?”

Jay glared at her. She glared back. Oh god.

He took a deep breath. Nick and Andrew exchanged weird looks.

“Guys I need to tell you something. You remember the night of the school sleepover?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly cannot believe people like this. I was convinced I should just give up on it, but then I saw all your support and I knew continue :) tell me what u think should happen next :D


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